Email a copy of 'Living with a Spouse with Chronic Illness, part 1' to a friend
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E-Mail 'Living with a Spouse with Chronic Illness, part 1' To A Friend
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Really put things into perspective for me to look at it as an outsider looking in.
Good Jill, I think Michael is doing an important thing by beginning a valuable discussion.
I can’t wait to read Part 2 tomorrow! Understanding from a spouse is so comforting. I fear that my RA will have to get really bad before my husband can truly understand it or rather “see” it. He tries to. I know it’s difficult. I mean, most of us don’t “look” sick. This is truly a monstrous disease. Kudos to Michael. Thank you!
Yes, I guess that is what is at the root of it – looking the same on the outside.
Thanks for an article many of us can understand. I often think my husband has the “harder job” in seeing me hurt and not be able to do anything about it. Too frequently, however, we, the patients, do not give our spouses enough freedom to be able to seek the support or emotional help that they need. It’s vital to the marriage that we make sure they have a “safe place” to share their worries and concerns, and that we understand the burdens they feel. For example, it may not just be being the sole breadwinner, but also having the job that gives us health insurance. I look forward to part 2!
I actually have an area on our web site, as well as separate groups for men with ill spouse and women with ill spouse at http://restministries.com/category/r-u-a-patient-or/ill-spouse/ if anyone feels some online support would be helpful.
Keep up the great posts. I cannot keep up with YOU! 🙂
Kelly I ran across this article about spouses and RA or Arthritis. I have been thinking of how my husband as acted around me. Remember I am still sero-negative, but have swelling and fatigue with the full like aches. I know I pretty much look normal. I feel guilty when I come home from work and don’t want do other things but crash.I felt like my husband was mad at me because I had RA. We finally had a good talk. He said he was angry for me and felt helpless at the same time, not being able to make it better for me. I was so glad I asked. Any way I ran across this article plus below the article their are other articles to click. I thought they were pretty good!
Thanks Kelly, you are a gift. Stephanie
Thank you, Michael, for sharing with such honesty. I look forward to Part 2. I already have tears in my eyes, and will be sharing this with my husband of 29 years-25 of which I have suffered with RA, and RA-related complications. Thus, my husband has suffered right along with me. So much is familiar to me, including the difficulty and suffering , waiting to getting a correct diagnosis.
Thanks, Michael, for telling your story. I’ve been anxious to read it since you first mentioned it. I think we’re all much better people when we go through the process of “being” in someone else’s shoes. I applaud your courage to write this.
Amen to that, Hilary. Courage that will en-courage others.
“Those who do not feel pain seldom think that it is felt.”
Dr Samuel Johnson
Yes. I wonder if there’s any way to remedy this?
My friends, I’ve read all of your comments to date to both Parts 1 & 2 of the post. Many of your comments have moved me to tears. I struggle with what to write here other than to thank you.
I can tell we share very similar experiences and there’s a validation in our sharing. Another thought occurred to me and that is how I felt completely helpless as a spouse to relieve Deborah’s suffering and I’m sure many of your spouses feel the same. It’s a frustration that we have to work through mentally as to how we respond. My thoughts on this alone could be another post…
Thank you again and my prayers are with you.
Mike
Thank you, Michael. I really appreciate your effort to help others by telling Deb’s story here.
I as diagnosed with RA 4 months ago (with symptoms for past 6 years) and it’s been a rollercoaster ever since. My husband has been so supportive and so very helpful. I feel badly that he has been having to do so most everything for me while we try to get my RA under control. I forwarded this to my husband’s email hoping it will help him understand the road we are on. Thank you for posting!
Well my wife has had RA for about four years,she also had a stroke brought on by RA.We as a family still have not excepted this decease. It has be hard in everyone. Now I look at the date if 2010 on here and realize it us old data.
Hello Pete,
While the post is over four years old I still receive emails and comments about it today. I hope that my experience may be helpful to others. All the best,
Mike
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