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I wouldn’t call myself perfectionist, but I’ve had to lower my standards when it comes to housekeeping. Especially during bad flares and fatigue. It’s hard to see my dirty floor sometimes, but it will be there tomorrow.
I was just saying to my children today that more frustrating that not being able to function is that when I can’t function, others don’t. We are new to the RA thing having only been diagnosed a year ago so we are still getting used to it.
It is an adjustment. I didn’t really think it would be such a large one.
Mer: Lowering my standards was not enough. It’s like we are doing the limbo here. LOWA LOWA LOWA… 😮 Haha.
What I really wish is that other “Christian mom bloggers” – and of course everyone else – could understand how it is to be you and me. Perfect floors and cute cupcakes are a blessing, YES. But they are not the main thing.
Rebecca: Yes, it is.
Let me know if I can do anything for you. The whole family goes through re-modeling when the “Happy to do it all!” mom cannot do it all anymore. O:-)
I must admit, I’ve lost myself. My life changed completely with RA. I just started counseling and my therapist says I am going through “rebirth” as I had bottomed out with depression and not knowing where my place in life was anymore. She has given me hope and I am doing a lot of journaling about the things I can do as opposed to grieving over the things I no longer can do. I am rebirthing the new me.
Jamie,
I felt so sorry for you reading that. But I have written similar statements here and here.
Anyway, I will pray that what you have on the other side is better at least in some ways. I am glad you found a good counselor. RA is a hard blow and depression is not unusual.
It’s amazing the things you can learn about yourself by reading the stories of others – I read in your story Kelly about those little ‘telltale’ things that you didn’t realize were really early signs – I had fingers that would lock up and had to be straitened out by the other hand – always thought it was because I was what we always called ‘double jointed’. So many of those things – like a rash start on one arm and then the other – almost like hives and of COURSE prednizone made the rash go away – I guess as they say hind sight really IS 20/20. I sent you an email earlier about my recent hospital stay and since I am now just home – I think I will go remember how wonderful it feels to sleep next to my husband. Thanks as always for all you do here.
I love that you say that worth is, “unconditional.” I had never thought of it that way before and of course you are right — that is what is meant by intrinsic worth as children of God but sometimes it helps to have things re-worded. This has certainly become my new mantra and oh yes, my new FB status.
We have all had to be re-birthed in our new “bodies” that don’t work the way they used to but it can be very freeing. The hardest part for me was the guilt I felt from my own unrealistic expectations and then when I mostly beat that one, I noticed that many others had expectations of, “me.” This has been a much tougher battle but with a little patience and lots of love, our friends and family can also be taught that, “worth is unconditional.”
Thanks Cynthia. I just think like a mom, I guess. It just seems to me that is foundational – After that, the other things fall into place, like honesty & the golden rule… :rainbow:
I’ve had RA for almost 20 yrs and I still hold myself to a standard that is way to high. On the other hand it can be motivating sometimes when it would be easier to just curl up and let my joints fuse.
Hi Kristy, funny but terrible-sounding. 😛
I am both a Christian Mom Blogger and an RA Blogger. In my CMB, I blog about parenting and the perfect cupcake and the adorable things my kids say and my ambitious craft projects and our weekend trips. In my RAB, I get to be more real, talk about just how much went into getting around to all that “perfection” that I show off at my other site. Of course, now that I have my RA blog, I’m not really keeping up with my mommy blog so much. I had no idea how wearing it was keeping up with that level of do-it-all mommyness.
Kelly,
When I type in “domestic goddesses, computer wizards and supermoms” in my picture dictionary your picture comes up.
I’m pretty sure that the Google gods do not agree. But thanks for the smile.
I enjoy reading other people’s story. It makes me feel like I am not alone. I share them with my husband and daughter. My husband reads all the stories and emails and is really starting to understand RA. Thanks Kelly and keep this awesome website going!
Lynn
i love the hearts raining down. i am so gratefull i found your site. my oldest daughter was just diagnosed with ra and i cryed myselft to sleep. i have had ra since my twentys and dont want her to suffer as i have. i have told her about your site. it has been such a help to learn that others have gone throught what i have.
Thanks Sherrei, I’m sorry to hear about your daughter.
Well i got kick out of that Kelly You cant keep up with yourself! lol…Good Job doing what you do..One thing at a time…Rest! Last night was so terrible for me. My daughter came home crying. Her little hand was so swollen! She asked me if her fingers were gonna stay like that? I said they would and she broke down in tears. My heart broke! She has went off her medicine to concieve thier 1st child! She didnt want to be taking anything trying to have thier first baby! Here comes the destruction she is willing to take for the sake of her baby! Why? Cant somebody help rid this disease so she wont hurt and cripple up trying to have a family? Tears from a mom……..
Thanks Judi! for getting my humor!! I’m praying for you daughter. Bless you both. I understand where you both are – my children are everything to me!
I would read those blogs too & think well of course I can do that! This was during one of many of my denial phases- I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that I am disabled after always being the supermom & doing everything I set my mind to doing! Sure I’ve had flares & then I’ve gotten “better” until the past 8-9 months when the flare is unremitting & I haven’t gotten “better yet”. I think my denial phase is finally over & it’s even harder than when I was originally dx – No more supermom blogs etc for me! I’m relearning how to do simple tasks & thanks to finding Kelly’s site & the amazing women & men on here I can also help my sweet blessing of a daughter understand more- & that breaks my heart more than anything. I hate that she has to help me do things that I’ve always done for myself. ::tears:
Hi Kelly, wow! Did this Mary Poppins (my favorite!) hit home. I, also- was always so on top of everything . As a former critical care nurse, cooking-baking- crocheting baby gifts- literally did so much & proud of it all! Yes, you gave me the perfect reminder, that God does love us all unconditionally. It is life changing to have RA (RD) , bedridden so many weeks now, on my 9th med! I wonder what is worse, the disease or horrible side effects! I have aged so much in just two years. Our spirits &!hearts are the same.
Bless you for your RAvWarrior newsletter & blog!
I am currently reading, “Jesus” by James Martin- inspiring & know we can all pray for a cure.
Have a beautiful Easter Season!
Thanks for your support,
Anna Marie