Twelve Days of Christmas with Rheumatoid Disease
Twelve Days of Christmas & 12 annoying gifts from Rheumatoid disease
I had to take pictures when I found this wrapping paper in a store to show my son Tiger who loves rap music. The words printed on the “Rapping Paper” are from Rapper’s Delight by Sugarhill Gang, the first hip-hop single to become a Top 40 hit. The favorite album at our house at Christmas-time is Christmas in Diverse City by tobyMac, the greatest rapper of Christian lyrics and one of the most popular artists today.
While Rapper’s Delight was the first rapping hit, there have always been chanting and story-telling songs. The Twelve Days of Christmas is one that has endured centuries of changes and speculation. I hope this version about Rheumatoid disease brings you a smile.
Rheumatoid disease is a more accurate way to refer to the disease often called Rheumatoid Arthritis or RA. Rheumatoid disease leads to inflamed joints and many secondary conditions such as arthritis (osteoarthritis), osteoporosis, cardiovascular disease, vasculitis, Sjögren’s syndrome, and more, as well as symptoms related to persistent systemic inflammation.
The Twelve Days of Christmas with Rheumatoid Disease (RD)
On the first day of Christmas, my RD gave to me
No cartilage in two bad knees.
On the second day of Christmas, my RD gave to me
Two curling toes,
And no cartilage in two bad knees.
On the third day of Christmas, my RD gave to me
Three fake cures,
Two curling toes,
And no cartilage in two bad knees.
On the fourth day of Christmas, my RD gave to me
Four heating pads,
Three fake cures,
Two curling toes,
And no cartilage in two bad knees.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my RD gave to me
Five side effects,
Four heating pads,
Three fake cures,
Two curling toes,
And no cartilage in two bad knees.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my RD gave to me
Six treatments failing,
Five side effects,
Four heating pads,
Three fake cures,
Two curling toes,
And no cartilage in two bad knees.
On the seventh day of Christmas, my RD gave to me
Seven docs befuddled,
Six treatments failing,
Five side effects,
Four heating pads,
Three fake cures,
Two curling toes,
And no cartilage in two bad knees.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my RD gave to me
Eight tendons cramping,
Seven docs befuddled,
Six treatments failing,
Five side effects,
Four heating pads,
Three fake cures,
Two curling toes,
And no cartilage in two bad knees.
On the ninth day of Christmas, my RD gave to me
Nine bills for paying,
Eight tendons cramping,
Seven docs befuddled,
Six treatments failing,
Five side effects,
Four heating pads,
Three fake cures,
Two curling toes,
And no cartilage in two bad knees.
On the tenth day of Christmas, my RD gave to me
Ten joints a-clicking,
Nine bills for paying,
Eight tendons cramping,
Seven docs befuddled,
Six treatments failing,
Five side effects,
Four heating pads,
Three fake cures,
Two curling toes,
And no cartilage in two bad knees.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my RD gave to me
Eleven pills to swallow,
Ten joints a-clicking,
Nine bills for paying,
Eight tendons cramping,
Seven docs befuddled,
Six treatments failing,
Five side effects,
Four heating pads,
Three fake cures,
Two curling toes,
And no cartilage in two bad knees.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my RD gave to me
Twelve warriors helping,
Eleven pills to swallow,
Ten joints a-clicking,
Nine bills for paying,
Eight tendons cramping,
Seven docs befuddled,
Six treatments failing,
Five side effects,
Four heating pads,
Three fake cures,
Two curling toes,
And no cartilage in two bad knees!
Note: There are some added entries to the Merry Blog Carnival full of great gift ideas for those who manage a painful rheumatic condition like Rheumatoid disease. Be sure to check it out here: Ideas for Relieving Rheumatoid Arthritis Pain
Recommended reading
- 5 Reasons Rheumatoid Disease Is a Better Term than Rheumatoid Arthritis
- Can We Treat the Whole Person or at Least the Whole Disease?
- Win a Pentax Camera! While You Spread RA / RD Awareness!
rawarrior way too funny hun. Thanks for sharing.
cute. For each extra steroid tablet, 2 creamy truffles!!
I laughed my butt off! The first honest belly-laugh in a long time. Thank you, thank you!
Gigantic (Gentle ) hugs-
Omigoodness!!! What are YOU doing, being a fact vault for the origins of rap?? I never knew about that song’s position in history!
And *oh* that video – what a turning point! Mixture of –
– the last days of INCREDIBLE bellbottoms on the dancers
– the first glimpse of 80s hair (on the girl in the background at 0:28)
– a last glimpse of disco (“ya do the freak and ya do the bump” around 1:00)
– now-antiquated reference to Superman as “he’s a fairy – flies through the air in pantyhose” – the gay rights movement hadn’t hit mass culture
And oh my goodness, I never noticed the lyrics about skanky chicken at a friend’s dinner table – LOL.
(I was about to say something about “You may be surprised to hear that the beat of rap pretty much hooks me and gets me movin’,” but I realized that may no longer be a secret…)
Anyway, what a surprise way to get me out of my Sunday newspaper chair. Thanks.:)
p.s. The numbers / data guy in me adds that he’s shocked to realize this was A THIRD OF A CENTURY AGO. Yep: 1979 was 33 years ago. Wow.
Thanks for the smile Dave. That video always makes me laugh out loud while some of my kids shake their heads. And yeah, it makes me feel old to remember it so well and most of the lyrics, especially the chicken-tastes-like-wood part. On the other hand, the kids like many artists who inherited the mantle. I get the last laugh when they buy tobyMac albums and I say, you know Toby was born in Fairfax (where I’m from) and is a couple months older than I am. It was a unique moment when 70’s met 80’s & funk met disco that became rap.
Yesterday we’re listening to this song in the car http://www.invubu.com/lib/public/lyrics/show/TobyMac%7CToddiefunk/Santa'scomin'baka'round!.html
“Now after all the presents have been opened and the dinner consumed
We’ll dance down a soul train line in the middle of the living room” – I watched a lot of Soul Train!
and you win! You surprised me more by commenting than I did by posting it!
Soul Train was ABSOLUTELY the best dance show ever. It taught me to just be who I wanna be, enjoy life, not get all wrapped up in what’s happening.
Of course, when giving a speech it’s better NOT to “dance like nobody’s watching,” because people are… but I’m talking about living life. Like you.
Yeah, that’s it – Kelly lives life like it’s Soul Train on parade. Whatever you got, shake and enjoy.
Well! THAT took me back! LOL! Thanks for the laugh! (I understand about the food, but we’re still friends!) Soul train – used to dance to that! Gotta get back to getting ready for Christmas now – have a good one!
Kelly,
Thanks for the laugh! I needed that.
Merry Christmas to you and your family, and happy holidays to all!
that was awesome! I ought to bring that to my family Christmas dinner and make everyone sing it! 😉
Merry Christmas Kelly and family!!
You make such a difference every day.
Wow Kelly,
It is truly awesome to know I’m not alone in life or poetry!
Super Poem you wrote and so true.
I wish I could buy some RA buttons but I can’t seem to locate them any more?