13 Ways to Help People Living with Rheumatoid Arthritis
What if we could live in Mr. Rogers’ RA Neighborhood?
I’ve often heard that people just don’t know what to do to provide assistance to people living with Rheumatoid Arthritis. In case that’s true, I thought I’d help out by writing a few of them on the blog. Just as a public service, you know…
- Ask, “How are you doing?” Listen to the answer.
- Bring a meal. Breakfast… lunch… dinner…
- Open doors, cans, jars, soda pop, plastic storage containers… without being asked.
- Don’t hand them something heavy. Most things are too heavy.
- If you notice an RA’er is having trouble walking, offer to walk the dog or get the mail…
- Notice whether an RA’er is having trouble walking.
- Send a “Thinking of you” card.
- Run an errand.
- Do a household chore or give a gift certificate for a maid service.
- Read a blog about RA, so you can learn about what your loved one is dealing with.
- Go to doctor’s appointments as moral support, witness, driver, or physical assistant.
- Exchange jokes. Be funny. Pain is a big downer.
- Ask an RA’er to tell you her / his story.
What about you?
In your dreams, what would people do for you – because you have Rheumatoid Arthritis?
My imaginary world
Wouldn’t it be fun if we could print out the whole list and email it to every contact? I’d like to give it to all of my neighbors, print it in the bulletin at church… Hey, I’d go so far as to post it on the most important media center in the world: post it on the fridge.
Recommended reading:
Medical Records Tip for Rheumatoid Arthritis: Read the Doctors’ notes
The Onset of Rheumatoid Arthritis: How Does R A Begin?
3 Reasons to Stop Saying “Complications of Rheumatoid Arthritis”
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When I tell people I have RA, I would like them to respond in this manner: “Tell me about RA and how it affects you”. Then they would listen carefully and ask questions. They would not make assumptions or give me uneducated advice. What a fantasy! I’ll let you know if it ever happens.
Yep, I got similar replies on Twitter:
“This is a fantasy. It would never happen, but could someone ask and then listen…?”
opening doors, bottles and anything that needs to be opened is a big one, can we put that in bold and sky writing?
Sky writing indeed.
I’m thinking Mr Rogers said: Be my neighbor. Wasn’t he ordained? Reminds me of the Good Samaritan.
I tell you Kelly, if anyone of my neighbors offered even one of the items you listed I would fall over in a dead faint, I have even had a ambulance pull up in the middle of the day, (I was having RA in my ribs really bad one day, throwing up) thought it was a heart attack, do you think my neighbor I have known of years would come over, no, she thinks RA is something in my head and has told me I think too much of myself because I always seem to complain about being in pain, (shrugs) guess that explains why she avoids me, I think god everyday I have my husband, Mike has to work away part of the time, home the other part, he cooks, cleans and growls at me if I try to do too much, I have 4 grown kids who live in the USA, they call all the the time to make sure I am okay, my 3rd born was just here for all of Sept to be with me, check on me, there are days I feel 90 years old rather than just 54, but I know I people I can count on and feel I am more blessed in so many ways, that I know I have it good…. always love reading you Kelly, never stop- Ves
Viesta,
Thanks. I laughed out loud reading “I would fall over…”
I know your neighbor! She lives right here in Florida too. Haha. This otherwise sweet girl thinks I am coocoo for cocoa puffs because she thinks Rheumatoid Arthritis is another word for “complains and takes medicine even though there is nothing wrong.” I’ve even tried to get her to look at my website…
Anyway, it sounds like your family has got it right.
Kelly, please never stop blogging, people with RA need you, you have helped me just by creating this site, THANKS
Well if you live where the seasons change raking leaves would be awesome. Sometimes asking if we need to be driven to the grocery and the whatnot…
I have enjoyed many of the postings. I have RA and so far I have had both knees replaced (done at the same time) and recently my left shoulder replaced. This time I was told to go off and stay off all RA Meds for 5 weeks. Embrel, methotrexate, and naproxen sodium. My body really hated that. Comments from anyone else about this?
Neal, Really good question. We all deal with this at one time or another I guess. I know I’ll be doing some research on this to try to get some tips. This is like torture to stop medication that’s keeping us out of wheelchair and bed. At least we have the medicine to go back to! so we can get back up eventually. Hope your new knees and shoulder are doing well.
Kelly –
I must say that I do have a great neighbor. She does something for me that you may want to add to your list for we RAers with children: Ask if you can take our child/ren for a few hours.
My son is only three years old and an only child (due to RA), and as I am his sole means of entertainment throughout the day, the job can sometimes exhaust me. My neighbor always seems able to tell right away if I need a break, and offers some play time at her house. It is truly one of the ncest gestures anyone had done for me.
Great topic and post!
Kati, You do have a great neighbor. Good addition to the list.
My landlady is also my neighbor and she has stage 4 Parkinson’s, her husband’s brain cancer has just returned, but a day never goes by that this sweet and wonderful woman doesn’t ask “How ya doing today Alice? Anything I can do for you?” The times she doesn’t means that she is “down” so I go to her no matter how I feel. She has my D-in-law’s boss’s son, what a mouthful lol, come over to help her clean house and be chauffeur. Dakota will always come over and say I’m going to the grocery do you need anything, or even if he’s going to fast food joint. She has 2 adult kids that live with them and I’ve seen and heard some things from them that make me want to pinch their selfish heads off, other times they are great as they hold out hands for $$! My boys do what they can,daughter is somewhere on streets plz pray for her, but they work 12-14 hr. days. My ex boyfriend does alot for me when he’s not working, he’s a Teamster and works sometimes 3-4wks. w/no time off, and I have my friend from Church who drives me everywhere and takes care of me. If I can’t go back to sleep at 3am we text,so we don’t wake her hubby,until I’m tired again! I have just realized what an amazing support group I truly have. I thought it was just God but, He has surrounded me with loving people who truly care including you Kelly. Thank-You for this post, and all of the rest of course. GOD’S SPECIAL BLESSINGS UPON ALL OF YOU!
