I always had a silly super-hero complex. I thought that I could do anything if I tried hard enough or stayed up late enough. Add to that endless optimism and a belief that God will always make everything turn out right.
There’s this tendency to see life as a maze with many options. Never give up; just find the way that works. Somewhere is the path that will let me ride a bicycle again and run free on the beach.
But, my maze has had a lot of dead ends. No treatment has done anything to stop my RA from progressing or relieve the pain and stiffness, even prednisone. All of my joints hurt. I even get some swelling now.
It’s funny. I was never a real RA patient. That’s what I thought. There was never enough swelling to post dramatic photos. The sed rate was never elevated to satisfy the doctors. The CRP would not stay high enough to let me into a clinical trial. I have not had a joint replacement yet. An older RA patient called me a “newbie” saying I don’t look like I have RA.
The swelling has a weird silver lining. I think I’m starting to feel like I’m a real RA patient now, whatever anyone says to me; but that’s a double edged sword. I really want to ride a bike, so I hold on to the fact that some real RA patients also get real remissions.
We rejoiced with the world this morning watching the wedding of a “commoner” to the British Prince. We have heavy hearts as we watch the tornados’ devastation in Alabama and other states. We have tearful eyes this afternoon waiting for Space Shuttle Endeavor’s final launch.
The walls of the maze seem foreboding some days. On the other hand, walls don’t seem to be very strong when you look at what the wind can do. A maze is probably not the best picture after all.
Central Florida RA Meet-up
We are having our first meet-up tomorrow, Saturday, April 30th from 2 – 4 at Jason’s Deli in Altamonte Springs, just north of Orlando.
- Rheumatoid Arthritis Swelling: My Confession
- The History of Cortisone and Rheumatoid Arthritis
- New Reading of the Nuclear Bone Scan: Credibility is Everything